Whatever Akane expected Connie to tell her, it wasn't this.
Her first, immediate response is to open her mouth and deny it all. Because it just-- they just-- that's not how it works. That's not how any of it works. If a boy likes another boy, they're just... misguided. A pervert. Confused. And if a girl likes a girl... well, who wouldn't like other girls more than boys? Boys are awful and dangerous and only want one thing.
But Connie keeps on talking and no. No. This can't be right. Ranma hated it so much when boys hit on him as a girl, because he was a boy and-- and--
It can't be right. It just can't be.
Akane starts shaking her head before Connie blurts out the last part of it-- and then she gets very, very still.
Connie nearly opens her big fat mouth to say something to the effect of yes, absolutely so she can get this horrible conversation with over faster.
Then she remembers Akane's whole (completely justified) complex.
And the circumstances in which she grew up.
And other miscellaneous details that indicated that Connie needed to handle her next few words very, very delicately or this entire thing could blow up in her face.
"Ssssort of? It's complicated." An excellent starter. This is already going perfectly. "I like girls, but not in the same way a boy would. It's different in a way that's. Really hard to explain." Especially to a straight person. "Like... I wouldn't say it's more pure or whatever, but it's softer. More tender. I'm attracted to boys too, but it's like... there's a different quality to it. Liking girls is like silk hiding steel, and liking boys is like steel hiding silk. If that makes any sense. It probably doesn't, I'm not explaining this very well."
Akane shakes her head. "I don't-- I don't get what you mean about silk and steel." She bites her lip. "So you-- you don't want to do perverted things to girls?" she asks hopefully.
Honestly, it would be the absolute worst thing in the world to find out that the person she'd been sharing a tent with had been wanting to do things to her all along. The person she trusted above all else in this world.
"Oh my god, no! You're my best friend, why would I-" Connie is legitimately horrified at the assumption, eyes widening.
Who hurt you, Akane.
"Regardless, I... you're going to see a lot of men dating men and women dating women at the prom, and. I just need to make sure you're mentally prepared for that before we head off, since i know it'll be an... adjustment." She sighs, rubbing her arm. "That's why I blurted it out like that. I thought that if you knew I liked both girls and boys, it would be... easier to accept, I guess?"
When the captain of your school's kendo team consistently sexually harasses you and encourages others to do so (because that is definitely what Kuno has been doing with his whole Defeat Akane In Combat To Date Her policy, no matter what he or the school itself thinks) you end up getting kind of fucked up about things. Really fucked up about things.
"I mean, that's how boys are," Akane says, uncomfortably. "Until they get older and most of them stop. And we're the age where boys are the worst about that, so." She looks away.
"How can it be normal?" she blurts out in frustration. "I mean, it's bad enough that boys can't control themselves around girls--but other boys? That can't be right. Are you sure they don't just-- think those other men are women? I. No. No, it's not-- I mean. I mean, I know there's. I know there are perverted guys who do things with other guys--I'm not completely naive, and Furinkan might be at the very edge of Nerima and Nerima might be at the very edge of Tokyo, but it's not like I'm from the boonies--but that's not. That's just.
"That's just-- perversion. Isn't it? And-- and boys are the worst, but just because they're awful doesn't mean we should let them be perverts at each other. Isn't that as bad as when they're perverts at girls? I know Ranma hated it whenever it happened to him and they were mostly doing it because they thought he was a girl!
"And-- and of course you want to be close to your female friends, because they're safe and they're nice, but that's just-- Eventually you grow up. And when the boys stop being horrible, awful perverts, you get married. That's just how things are, Connie. I don't. I don't understand this at all."
She punches a telephone pole in her frustration. There's a shallow dent in the wood and splinters in her knuckles. "Ow!" she hisses under her breath.
Edited 2020-04-18 16:31 (UTC)
i really need to get some properly angry/horrified icons for her orz
It is a truth universally acknowledged that, if you piss a young woman off enough, her strength and speed will be multiplied a thousandfold so that none may defend against it.
Which is why when Connie's hand goes to slap Akane's cheek, it is much faster and more accurate than any of her strikes in their regular sparring matches, which is saying something.
"Say that again." Connie's fists are balled her sides as tears stream down her face. "Look me in the eyes and say that again. Say that all of my friends and family here are- are perverted sickos or immature schoolgirls or whatever!
"Look me in the eyes and say that I'm- that I'm-" The tears are flowing freely now. "You know what? Forget it. Take the Ubird to the prom, I don't care." Covering her eyes with her arm, Connie runs off, storming into the woods without looking behind her for a second.
It's at this moment that the Ubird... flyer finally shows up.
"I'm sorry," Akane says to them numbly, touching her stinging cheek like she can hardly believe this just happened. Only it really did. "Can you... come back in a couple hours?"
"I'm charging you twice," the Ubird trainer informs her.
She watches them walk away. Why are her cheeks wet and not just sore?
Oh. She's been crying. Crap. What is she going to do? Connie was her only friend here and she messed it all up. She turns around and punches the telephone pole from before. The dent is definitely wider now. More splinters in her knuckles.
Crap.
After a very long moment, it occurs to Akane that even if she doesn't have any other friends here, Connie does. And she even knows the names of some of them. So, hands shaking, she draws her pokegear out of her bag and attempts to textthem. Maybe one of them will know what to do.
The better part of the hour passes before Akane follows Connie into the woods, calling her friend's name.
"Connie! Connie, I'm sorry! I-- I just-- I don't-- I'm sorry."
Ugh. Maybe Connie's not even there anymore. Maybe Akane really is all alone without her--and it's all her own damn fault for driving her only friend in this world away.
All Akane will have to do is follow the sound of trees being cleaved in half. What was that about violence being a healthy mechanism through which to vent your anger and/or disappointment and/or sadness?
When Akane reaches Connie, she's in the middle of a recently-cleared clearing. Connie holds Chandrahas and her shield, turned away from Akane. "What do you want? I thought you didn't want to associate with perverts."
"You said you didn't want to!" Akane snaps back. "And-- why would I want people to hurt me? Or other people? Especially not like that." Crap. She's crying again, isn't she? So much for calming down.
"I just... you're my best friend," she says miserably. "And you told me all those things I don't understand and don't make sense and-- and-- you're not a pervert, anyway, you said you didn't want to do those things, but boys like that have to be, because they're boys, so there's only one thing they want, and I don't think it changes when it's boys they're going after instead of girls."
"Akane, literally all I wanted was for you to be able to accept me and my family here as who we are. That was all. I know something really bad happened to you in the past and honestly I just wish that I could've stopped whatever it was so you wouldn't have been hurt; and I'm not going to ask you to put aside your scars from that just for me, so...
"I guess if you're still scared of boys—which I don't blame you for—all I can say to comfort you is that these are adult men who are dating. Like. Late thirties to early fifties, in Steven and Jack's case. And Carly and Jolyne aren't girls, they're grown women. This isn't a thing you just grow out of or whatever. It's part of your life for good.
"And if you still can't deal with two people of the same gender being romantically involved... I'm sorry, but we can't be friends."
The words echo in Akane's mind, going around in circles. Without even thinking about it, she's clutching her head, eyes squeezed shut.
Not that. Anything but that. Connie was the best friend she'd ever had. Connie was everything she'd thought Ranma was going to be, for that brief, short, wonderful time when she thought Ranma was a girl and not really a boy after all.
"I just. Don't understand," she mumbles. "If there's nothing perverted involved, then how is it different than-- you and me?"
"Well. I don't want to gently kiss you beneath the moonlight, so there's that."
(Later, those words would bite Connie in the ass.)
Connie finally turns to face Akane. She's smiling through her tearstained face, albeit lopsidedly. "There comes a moment when you're looking at someone, someone you love and trust with all your heart, and then it'll just... click that you love them that way too."
"I don't-- I don't think that's ever happened to me," Akane says, sniffling. "I don't. There's nobody I do trust that much back home besides my sister Kasumi and P-chan. Maybe Dr Tofu. I can't even trust Ranma that much, not about everything. It was just-- I started wanting him around instead of wanting him to go away."
She opens her eyes again. Looks up to see Connie smiling at her. Maybe she didn't destroy this completely somehow.
"Do you promise that your friends aren't-- hurting people?" she asks, biting her lip.
"Okay," she says. "Okay. I still— I don't really get it. But. I'm going to try to accept it. And I do... I do trust you, Connie. More than anybody. So if you say they're okay, I'm going to believe you."
Connie just stands there for a moment, frozen. In what, exactly? Even she can't tell.
Then Chandrahas floats away to give her space, and that breaks the spell. She runs up towards Akane and hugs her closely, Japanese cultural norms be damned. "ThankYouIDon'tThinkI'dBeAbleToTakeItIfILostYouWe'veOnlyBeenFriendsForAFewWeeksButIFeelCloserToYouThanAnyone"
Akane's stiff for the first moment or two--it's not Connie's fault, it's just that she doesn't completely have good associations for being hugged out of nowhere--and then she relaxes into the hug, squeezing Connie tightly enough that it might partially knock the air out of her lungs.
"I really am sorry," she whispers. "I know-- I know it's important to you that I get this stuff and I just-- It's so confusing. And stupid. Your friend Carly tried to explain stuff to me and even your uncle said I should think about if it matters if people are perverts if they're not hurting anyone and they both said I should apologize to you. And I know-- I know I was the awful one. I never really thought you were a pervert, not after you said you didn't want to do that stuff, but I just-- None of this makes sense, you know? But I don't want to drive you away. I can't lose you, Connie. Not just because you're my only friend, but you're the best friend I've ever had."
She sniffles a bit. "I wish Mr Saotome had brought you home with him. Except not, because then he'd have been your dad and I don't think he takes training girls as seriously as he does boys."
Considering what Genma Saotome considers to be appropriate training, this is probably a good thing.
how many "are you gay" quizzes is akane gonna take after prom
It's been a good, long while since Connie has had a proper bearhug; so if anything, she welcomes getting the air squeezed out of her lungs. She gives as good as she gets, at least—while Connie isn't nearly as strong as Akane, she's still a damn good hugger. Learned from the best, after all.
(It's also been a good, long while since a hug has felt this nice, but she's never going to dwell on that.)
"I... I feel the same way. About you, I mean. I just... gah." It's hard, learning how other people tick when you can't cheat your way through it with fusion, but... it's worth it, somehow. "I got so angry at myself for pushing you away that I cut down a bunch of trees." She sniffs. "We should probably go to the prom before somebody finds us and gets mad."
"I told the Ubird person to come back," Akane says, not letting go yet. "They came after you left. They said we have to pay twice. Sorry about that."
She leans her cheek against Connie's shoulder. "If it had been me," she says, "I'd have probably punched holes in all of them. You're not nearly as destructive as Ryoga is when he gets depressed, even before he learned the Breaking Point. Trust me."
Another squeeze, before she lets go.
"I'm sorry," she says one more time. "And-- I'll be thinking a lot about the stuff that Carly talked to me about? She's... she's really nice. Even if you hadn't promised me about your friends, I'd know she wasn't a pervert. Or--" she says hesitantly, trying a new word on for size, "an assaulter?"
"...oh my stars, you actually used the correct term, Carly must've really gotten through to you."
Connie smiles at Akane. She could go on a long diatribe about how she feels so close to Akane despite and/or because of her flaws, but none of that matters. She just loves her so damn much.
(Later, she would look upon this moment and despair at her own stupidity.)
"We should probably head back. Don't want to keep everyone waiting, neh?"
Akane giggles. Connie still says ne with such a funny accent—but on her it's cute.
"I meant it that I'm going to have to think a lot about the stuff she said. It... might take a while. But I promise I'm going to think hard about it. And I'll keep trusting you."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Her first, immediate response is to open her mouth and deny it all. Because it just-- they just-- that's not how it works. That's not how any of it works. If a boy likes another boy, they're just... misguided. A pervert. Confused. And if a girl likes a girl... well, who wouldn't like other girls more than boys? Boys are awful and dangerous and only want one thing.
But Connie keeps on talking and no. No. This can't be right. Ranma hated it so much when boys hit on him as a girl, because he was a boy and-- and--
It can't be right. It just can't be.
Akane starts shaking her head before Connie blurts out the last part of it-- and then she gets very, very still.
"You... like girls... like a boy would?"
no subject
Then she remembers Akane's whole (completely justified) complex.
And the circumstances in which she grew up.
And other miscellaneous details that indicated that Connie needed to handle her next few words very, very delicately or this entire thing could blow up in her face.
"Ssssort of? It's complicated." An excellent starter. This is already going perfectly. "I like girls, but not in the same way a boy would. It's different in a way that's. Really hard to explain." Especially to a straight person. "Like... I wouldn't say it's more pure or whatever, but it's softer. More tender. I'm attracted to boys too, but it's like... there's a different quality to it. Liking girls is like silk hiding steel, and liking boys is like steel hiding silk. If that makes any sense. It probably doesn't, I'm not explaining this very well."
She did her best, Akane.
no subject
Honestly, it would be the absolute worst thing in the world to find out that the person she'd been sharing a tent with had been wanting to do things to her all along. The person she trusted above all else in this world.
no subject
Who hurt you, Akane.
"Regardless, I... you're going to see a lot of men dating men and women dating women at the prom, and. I just need to make sure you're mentally prepared for that before we head off, since i know it'll be an... adjustment." She sighs, rubbing her arm. "That's why I blurted it out like that. I thought that if you knew I liked both girls and boys, it would be... easier to accept, I guess?"
no subject
"I mean, that's how boys are," Akane says, uncomfortably. "Until they get older and most of them stop. And we're the age where boys are the worst about that, so." She looks away.
"How can it be normal?" she blurts out in frustration. "I mean, it's bad enough that boys can't control themselves around girls--but other boys? That can't be right. Are you sure they don't just-- think those other men are women? I. No. No, it's not-- I mean. I mean, I know there's. I know there are perverted guys who do things with other guys--I'm not completely naive, and Furinkan might be at the very edge of Nerima and Nerima might be at the very edge of Tokyo, but it's not like I'm from the boonies--but that's not. That's just.
"That's just-- perversion. Isn't it? And-- and boys are the worst, but just because they're awful doesn't mean we should let them be perverts at each other. Isn't that as bad as when they're perverts at girls? I know Ranma hated it whenever it happened to him and they were mostly doing it because they thought he was a girl!
"And-- and of course you want to be close to your female friends, because they're safe and they're nice, but that's just-- Eventually you grow up. And when the boys stop being horrible, awful perverts, you get married. That's just how things are, Connie. I don't. I don't understand this at all."
She punches a telephone pole in her frustration. There's a shallow dent in the wood and splinters in her knuckles. "Ow!" she hisses under her breath.
i really need to get some properly angry/horrified icons for her orz
Which is why when Connie's hand goes to slap Akane's cheek, it is much faster and more accurate than any of her strikes in their regular sparring matches, which is saying something.
"Say that again." Connie's fists are balled her sides as tears stream down her face. "Look me in the eyes and say that again. Say that all of my friends and family here are- are perverted sickos or immature schoolgirls or whatever!
"Look me in the eyes and say that I'm- that I'm-" The tears are flowing freely now. "You know what? Forget it. Take the Ubird to the prom, I don't care." Covering her eyes with her arm, Connie runs off, storming into the woods without looking behind her for a second.
1/2
"I'm sorry," Akane says to them numbly, touching her stinging cheek like she can hardly believe this just happened. Only it really did. "Can you... come back in a couple hours?"
"I'm charging you twice," the Ubird trainer informs her.
She watches them walk away. Why are her cheeks wet and not just sore?
Oh. She's been crying. Crap. What is she going to do? Connie was her only friend here and she messed it all up. She turns around and punches the telephone pole from before. The dent is definitely wider now. More splinters in her knuckles.
Crap.
After a very long moment, it occurs to Akane that even if she doesn't have any other friends here, Connie does. And she even knows the names of some of them. So, hands shaking, she draws her pokegear out of her bag and attempts to text them. Maybe one of them will know what to do.
2/2
"Connie! Connie, I'm sorry! I-- I just-- I don't-- I'm sorry."
Ugh. Maybe Connie's not even there anymore. Maybe Akane really is all alone without her--and it's all her own damn fault for driving her only friend in this world away.
no subject
All Akane will have to do is follow the sound of trees being cleaved in half. What was that about violence being a healthy mechanism through which to vent your anger and/or disappointment and/or sadness?
When Akane reaches Connie, she's in the middle of a recently-cleared clearing. Connie holds Chandrahas and her shield, turned away from Akane. "What do you want? I thought you didn't want to associate with perverts."
no subject
"I just... you're my best friend," she says miserably. "And you told me all those things I don't understand and don't make sense and-- and-- you're not a pervert, anyway, you said you didn't want to do those things, but boys like that have to be, because they're boys, so there's only one thing they want, and I don't think it changes when it's boys they're going after instead of girls."
no subject
Connie has no idea what to say.
"Akane, literally all I wanted was for you to be able to accept me and my family here as who we are. That was all. I know something really bad happened to you in the past and honestly I just wish that I could've stopped whatever it was so you wouldn't have been hurt; and I'm not going to ask you to put aside your scars from that just for me, so...
"I guess if you're still scared of boys—which I don't blame you for—all I can say to comfort you is that these are adult men who are dating. Like. Late thirties to early fifties, in Steven and Jack's case. And Carly and Jolyne aren't girls, they're grown women. This isn't a thing you just grow out of or whatever. It's part of your life for good.
"And if you still can't deal with two people of the same gender being romantically involved... I'm sorry, but we can't be friends."
no subject
wecan'tbefriendswecan'tbefriendswecan'tbefriends
The words echo in Akane's mind, going around in circles. Without even thinking about it, she's clutching her head, eyes squeezed shut.
Not that. Anything but that. Connie was the best friend she'd ever had. Connie was everything she'd thought Ranma was going to be, for that brief, short, wonderful time when she thought Ranma was a girl and not really a boy after all.
"I just. Don't understand," she mumbles. "If there's nothing perverted involved, then how is it different than-- you and me?"
no subject
(Later, those words would bite Connie in the ass.)
Connie finally turns to face Akane. She's smiling through her tearstained face, albeit lopsidedly. "There comes a moment when you're looking at someone, someone you love and trust with all your heart, and then it'll just... click that you love them that way too."
(She would also regret those words.)
no subject
She opens her eyes again. Looks up to see Connie smiling at her. Maybe she didn't destroy this completely somehow.
"Do you promise that your friends aren't-- hurting people?" she asks, biting her lip.
no subject
And then Akane asks her question, and it's a good thing Connie has an excellent poker face because she's internally screaming.
The mental math she runs before her next statement is some seriously graduate-level stuff.
"Not in that way, I can guarantee you."
no subject
"Okay," she says. "Okay. I still— I don't really get it. But. I'm going to try to accept it. And I do... I do trust you, Connie. More than anybody. So if you say they're okay, I'm going to believe you."
no subject
Then Chandrahas floats away to give her space, and that breaks the spell. She runs up towards Akane and hugs her closely, Japanese cultural norms be damned. "ThankYouIDon'tThinkI'dBeAbleToTakeItIfILostYouWe'veOnlyBeenFriendsForAFewWeeksButIFeelCloserToYouThanAnyone"
no subject
"I really am sorry," she whispers. "I know-- I know it's important to you that I get this stuff and I just-- It's so confusing. And stupid. Your friend Carly tried to explain stuff to me and even your uncle said I should think about if it matters if people are perverts if they're not hurting anyone and they both said I should apologize to you. And I know-- I know I was the awful one. I never really thought you were a pervert, not after you said you didn't want to do that stuff, but I just-- None of this makes sense, you know? But I don't want to drive you away. I can't lose you, Connie. Not just because you're my only friend, but you're the best friend I've ever had."
She sniffles a bit. "I wish Mr Saotome had brought you home with him. Except not, because then he'd have been your dad and I don't think he takes training girls as seriously as he does boys."
Considering what Genma Saotome considers to be appropriate training, this is probably a good thing.
how many "are you gay" quizzes is akane gonna take after prom
(It's also been a good, long while since a hug has felt this nice, but she's never going to dwell on that.)
"I... I feel the same way. About you, I mean. I just... gah." It's hard, learning how other people tick when you can't cheat your way through it with fusion, but... it's worth it, somehow. "I got so angry at myself for pushing you away that I cut down a bunch of trees." She sniffs. "We should probably go to the prom before somebody finds us and gets mad."
ALL OF THEM
She leans her cheek against Connie's shoulder. "If it had been me," she says, "I'd have probably punched holes in all of them. You're not nearly as destructive as Ryoga is when he gets depressed, even before he learned the Breaking Point. Trust me."
Another squeeze, before she lets go.
"I'm sorry," she says one more time. "And-- I'll be thinking a lot about the stuff that Carly talked to me about? She's... she's really nice. Even if you hadn't promised me about your friends, I'd know she wasn't a pervert. Or--" she says hesitantly, trying a new word on for size, "an assaulter?"
wrap?
Connie smiles at Akane. She could go on a long diatribe about how she feels so close to Akane despite and/or because of her flaws, but none of that matters. She just loves her so damn much.
(Later, she would look upon this moment and despair at her own stupidity.)
"We should probably head back. Don't want to keep everyone waiting, neh?"
Re: wrap?
"I meant it that I'm going to have to think a lot about the stuff she said. It... might take a while. But I promise I'm going to think hard about it. And I'll keep trusting you."
She smiles. "Let's go back."